One line jokes funny. Wordplay Jokes

Short Jokes

One line jokes funny

Commit them to memory, and you'll so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place. If you fool me twice, shame on me. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? Until they start stepping on Legos approximately three years later. Honey bee a dear and get me a soda! What's the worst thing that could happen? You'd be the Chevy Chase circa late-'70s of your social circle, the one who could be counted on to say the perfect thing at the perfect time to make everybody feel a little less uncomfortable and silly. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. What do you call a vegan with diarrhea? Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Orange you going to let me in? Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries? It was all so different before everything changed.

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15 Funny One Liners That Are Brilliantly Clever

One line jokes funny

Losing a wife can be very tough. A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. But if you had a game-plan—a foolproof , a one-liner, say, that could suck all the tension out of the room—why, you'd be a hero! The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. A: They eat whatever bugs them 76. I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The ole funny one liners… The one liner is that classical that is delivered in a single line. My dog is an awesome fashion adviser.

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24 Funny One

One line jokes funny

Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal! I get to the end and I think, 'Well, that's not going to happen. They start out as milk, and it's up to women to mold them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. One must leave his bag outside. Funny One Liners That Don't Give a Crap ~ Crap Jokes - The toilet of the Star Ship Enterprise contains 'the captains log'. Two burglars stole a calendar last night and they each got six months.

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Short Jokes

One line jokes funny

There's a lull in the conversation, and nobody knows quite what to say. A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? Can you give me directions to your heart? A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? More than 90 percent of the things I worry about never happen. She used to like to dress up like herself, and act like a fucking bitch all the time.

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15 Funny One Liners That Are Brilliantly Clever

One line jokes funny

Then I realized they can handle it themselves. A person, who is nice to you, but mean to the stranger, is not a nice person. I have a hunch, it might be me. Start a fight with somebody when they have the hiccoughs! You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again.

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One liner jokes

One line jokes funny

With that in mind, here are 20 that will help your kid get to the punchline as quickly as possible. Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? A: Because he was out-standing in his field. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia. Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? I was going to tell a pizza joke but it was too cheesy. How is it possible to have a civil war? Dave Barry's 50 Years of Experience Men, Manners. Probably when I peed on an electric fence. I intend to live forever… or die trying.

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15 Funny One Liners That Are Brilliantly Clever

One line jokes funny

Did you hear the one about the rope? Q: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? What was the best thing before sliced bread? But it was no match for me at kickboxing. Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. We've all experienced that awkward moment of silence. Where are all these extra single socks coming from? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? When girls go wild, they show their tits. What happens to mountains when they touch each other? Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game? Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand? Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Q: What kind of key opens a banana? Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat? Really, 35 children are enough. Noah good place we can get something to eat? You want to save everybody from the awkwardness, but your mind is a blank.

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